Blessing in Disguise

 

Have you ever had those days where you would regard circumstances as a bad thing since it gave you hard times and pains? But when time goes by you’d come to think of those days I get better insights on those circumstances. They were actually a good thing. Nonetheless are blessings in disguise.

For years, I experience a series of setbacks to another or a cycle of one to another. It just wouldn’t stop. Do not despair, struggle if you must. One day when you got over it that you would realize it happened for a reason, or say I’m glad it happened if it didn’t I wouldn’t be the person I am today or I wouldn’t possess what I have today.

If you ever find yourself in situations where everythings crashing you. Steadfast, do not dispair. Your blessing is yet to reveal itself.

My Story Continues;

As long as I can open my eyes every morning, my story continues; it will only stop if God puts an end to it with a period.

 

 

 

DEPRESSION HUNTED ME IN KSA

1 Chronicles 16:11 Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face continually.

Just how many are those who suffer depression away from home? I wondered. I bet there’s a lot, I remember reading and listening to them and who would have thought that I would suffer the same with a diverse way of life overseas.

I’m currently in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia if you happen to come across one of my few blogs I’m sure you read some were mentioning about it. My stay here is more than a year now and every day I keep looking forward to going home. I was actually religiously doing a countdown, I love doing that. I want to keep track of how many more month I should endure living my life away from home. Well, who wouldn’t? I’m pretty sure everyone can’t wait to be home where their loved ones are. As the saying goes, there’s no place like home. Sometimes we might want to go somewhere, but home is still the best place we want to be.

Life away from home wasn’t as easy as I’ve thought. Coming here was an impulsive decision partly because of financial reasons without giving it some careful thought; what I should be expecting and whatnot. I had a month or two back then before my flight but that didn’t give me much time to prepare myself psychologically.

I could remember myself crying everyday nonstop, it was my first time ever to be miles and miles away from home. I would wish almost every day to go home yet I couldn’t do anything about it but curl up in my bed for hours and cry.  I was homesick, and my struggles with some of my difficult colleagues and the culture shock I got aggravated my situation.

I was undeniably a damsel in distress. I suffer depression. I lived all my life with it. It just keeps surfacing, as if it has its own life that it knows when to pop out and that’s exactly when I’m at my weakest. I don’t know when and how it started to have it, I just have it. It never goes, it pops and shrinks. That cycle was like forever. It was a battle I have to fight every now and then. A battle only I can fight. A battle only I knows how to conquer. It was tough, tougher than you can imagine.

I use to refuel with the presence of my family and that would be enough to keep me going for some time but at the moment, to seek for their physical presence was way too impossible.

Thank God I had someone to console me on those days. And listen to me attentively. I thought that comfort would last forever. Unfortunately, it didn’t. My everyday verbalization of my struggles must be tiring and unbearable on those days that It’s quite hard for me to manage the symptoms of my depression. I get seriously complicated which probably made her give up on me. Or for whatever reason, I am thankful for it.

God allowed it to happen to draw me closer to Him than I used to be. I could even feel His presence in my daily living stronger than usual. Communicating with Him became a constant habit. Though He is omniscient, I would talk and cry myself out to Him through prayers and it somewhat made me unburden myself. I realized that in times like this, nobody can faithfully help you shoulder your struggles but only Him. Blessed are you if someone does. But on top of it, It is only yours and God’s alone.

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Revenge? NO.

 

Mat 5:38~42  Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.

Sure. I am human too. I would love to get back to those people who harm me, people who say things that wouldn’t be true or do things that could make me look bad. I’ll surely get mad that I’d get that strong desire to get hold of those people and verbally or physically crash them.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth...There should be equity. They should know how it feels like. But trust me, its only in my mind. In an hour or two, my feelings will subside eventually. Though I admit I struggle so much not to give in to the temptation to encourage my vengeful feelings.

 

1 Peter 3:9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

It is but natural to have such desire to appease our anger and pain but turn away from it, we must overlook what hurts, and keep peace and a forgiving heart. The Bible clearly states our role in revenge that is to never take revenge but rather leave it all to Him. (Hebrews 10:30, For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” and again, “The Lord will judge his people.”)

Deutronomy 32:35 It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.”

FARMER’S Daughter

“I was given a great gift.

It’s amazing and reminding me to give thanks, everyday.

I was born a farmer’s daughter.”–MisMaia

Selfie with the betel leaves as a background. You can find them all around our backyard.

I am a farmers daughter.

I am a farmers daughter. Sure, my parents grow crops and raise animals specifically pigs and chicken to disposal. But not in a huge space you call farm rather,  in our backyard and a few small square meters of fields they own.

Their life was never easy with a cycle of ploughing, planting and harvesting. They just have so many things to do. They would wake up early every day hoping it would rain, it would somehow lessen their grind, they need not water their crops and it’d be easier to tend the soil.

They are a perfect picture of farmers. Through the years, I proudly fill up information sheets particularly on parents occupation with farmers while my schoolmates would fill up theirs as teachers, engineers, and others that one would probably envy them for having professional parents, but not me.

I always have the sense of pride telling the world that my parents are farmers.

“Most of the farmers are simple, hard-working, sincere and honest people. They always remain at the mercy of nature and God.“

I love my parents for who they are, though at times, people treat you less because of your parent’s occupation in our society where discrimination is inevitable. But not a chance did I ever wish they were somebody else.

They have done so much just to launch us to where we are. Thanks to my farmer parents who never despair despite the hardships they have to go through for us.

“Its not the farm that makes the farmer, its the love hard work and character.”

That Season of the Year..

Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.

I was scrolling down my Facebook news feed when I came across this photos uploaded by a relative. Well, thanks to her I get to recollect and reminisce my fond memories in childhood during this kind of season. I suddenly miss those moments.

Happiness is when you can finally reap what you saw. —Maia

Despite how better my work is right now compared to farming there are still those times I would wish to go back to these days even just for a while. Naturally, for a person born from parents who’re farmers, you’d always long for those things you grew up with, things such as these.

These photos are such a wonderful sight, I could kill for more.

I could imagine the feeling of these fellows from different households as they gather together to harvest these crops hand in hand. I bet there’s no better feeling. Planting season has long gone and the harvesting season finally came. The wait is over. After long endurance of the rainy and sunny days tending the crops its already that season of the year when you can already reap what you saw.

All in line, everyone appears to be in the midst of concentration. I could imagine the rustling leaves as the harvesting people fastly cut off the branches, and the gritting teeth of the person incharge of bundling😀.

I could remember that whenever my parents bring me and my siblings with them during times like these, they would warn us not to talk while everyone’s harvesting, the rationale is that someone might lose concentration while cutting the branches and get injured. That’s what I heard though, there might be beliefs that come along with it. But during the later days, talking while harvesting is no longer a big deal. It’s one of the best days where all of our family members work together. We would tell jokes, laugh, and talk about a lot of things. It’s more like a family bonding.

By the end of the day, you won’t really mind the exhaustion from the work done, all you could remember would be that timeless memory you just had.

Ready for the best part? Lunch! The elders would serve the Igorot delicacy, pinikpikan(beaten chicken prior to cooking) with etag/inasin (smoked meat/salted meat). The best dish duo of our native tribe and, my all time favourite dish. It’s typically served during planting and harvesting seasons of Igorots.

Not to miss the rice wine! Best served when it’s gloomy or raining during the harvest. It perfectly warms you up when you’re cold while your feet are soaked in the mud for hours and the rain keeps pouring.

If everyone helps to hold up the sky, then one person does not become tired. —Askhari Johnson Hodari

All done, bundled and piled in the gimata (load carriers) ready to bring home. Later all the men would carry those loads of rice one by one. It would be a priceless sight as they are lined up running along the long narrow paths going home.

•credits to the owner of the photos😉

Daddy Boss

                                                        

Nobody in this world can love a girl than his father. -Michael Ratnadeepak

I would still love to have you walk just behind me as I take my steps forward,

I feel secure you can spread your big arms for me as you guide me through. 

I would still love to have you swing me off the ground when I stumble to my feet,

I’d feel fine right away ’cause you always assure me it’s fine to stumble from time to time tay siya di nan masiksiknak di.

I would still love to run behind you from my bully friends cause I know you’d scold them away.

I would still love to have you pick me up to your arms and let me cry as hard as I can until I get fine frenzy and just fall asleep.  

I hated those times you started commanding me to stand up on my own but I know you’re secretly watching over me with full alert as though I might fall.

I hated those times that you let me do things on my own though I know you’re fingers itch you’d love to help me out.

I hated those times you scold me saying “nengan kat” though I know that to you, I am and will always be your baby girl but you just need to be Boss Inggo!

I love you though. I understand everything was out of love. 

I thank you so much for you finely welded me to a better and stronger me.

#MyDaddyBossInggo with MOM

An Aunt to My Nephew

Only an aunt can give hugs like a mother,  can keep secrets like a sister,  and share love like a friend. 

-Anynomous

I always knew as you raise your head to look at me, one day I will be doing the same towards you when you’ve grown tall.                                                                                 I always knew as you hold my pinky fingers as we walk together on the streets, one days I will be the one who’ll hold your arm as we walk together like old times. 

I always knew as you lean on me when you feel sleepy, one day I will be the one leaning on your shoulders when I feel the same. 

I always knew as you cry in my arms when you’re hurt for some reason, one day at some point of my life where Im hurt, I will be crying on yours too. 

I always knew as I offer you advices in life,one day you will be sharing some to me as well.

I always knew being an aunt to you is somewhat special.

Talking my Heart Out

Getting sunshine after a long time is the best feeling! 

You have no idea how delighted I feel just being under the sun for a moment while enjoying the desert breeze blowing my hair,  and the feel of the desert atmosphere! 

One moment please, 📸Snap! 

Really…  the best feeling! 

Things like these rarely happen,  where you can say “keep calm,  relax!”.

 Most often you get to go out only if you’re out to the mall for shopping on a day off for the week. And that’s it, back to the accomodation again to do your own thing or just sleep.  Simple.  You’d be lucky enough if there’s a planned party in the esteraha (vacation house for rent) or somewhere else that you were approved by the kafeel (employer) to attend or we will have to wait for special occasions like birthdays,  christmas et al. 

I’m sure you know what I mean if you used to live or you are living here in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. 

Its almost a year since I came here and a year more to go before I get myself board a plane back home! I keep looking forward to that. I hope time run fast,  I miss everything about home. 

Things totally changed after I decided to set foot in the Kingdom. I just can’t live the life I used to live. Everything here was contrary to my lifestyle that I have to delay most of my self gratifications, since there are a lot of limitations with most things. 

I was like confined for rehabilitation,  which I can’t really tell if it is. Things for me are getting worse emotionally,  but I pray hard I’ll get over it inshallah. One thing is for sure,  I was drawn closer to God.  And I’m getting to know myself better.  I get more time to recollect,  reminisce,  and reflect of my past.  

Jump your heart out! It’s been a while.

 

A Short Guide to Apologies

Written by Millionaire’s Digest Team Member: Hira Amir Founder & Owner of: The Loudest Thoughts Millionaire’s Digest Team, Contributor, Healthy Living and Successful Living Writer We are all humans and sometimes we make mistakes, after all, mistakes help us grow and find ourselves. But sometimes the mistakes we make may hurt the people we love and the […]

via A Short Guide to Apologies (3 min read) — Millionaire’s Digest